A letter to my late husband: "A Year After You"

Dear Michael,

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 I can’t believe you left us 1 year ago today.  It seems to have been the longest/shortest year of my life.   We miss you so much every day.  Seth and I miss everything about you.  We miss your smile and your goofiness.  We miss coming to you with all of our questions that you always had the answers too.  We miss you taking care of us and fixing things.  We miss sharing our life with you.  It is the weirdest thing to have look further and further back in my phone for pictures of you.  Its so symbolic, your world stopped and ours kept moving. 

I have done what I promised you I would do, I have kept going.  Once you left I came up with a 2-prong approach.  1 to make sure that Sethy has a stellar high school career and that I would keep Hello Gorgeous! going.  I feel that we have been successful on both counts.   

Seth has done very well in school.  All A’s and B’s.   He will be taking an honor class next year.  He has been invited to take part in a youth leadership council for South Bend and Mishawaka next year. He finally got his braces off and he is learning how to drive.  You did an incredible job with him while you were in our world.  We talk about you all of the time.   I have tried to continue on our trek of making memories. 

Hello Gorgeous! is making strides.  We have opened some incredible affiliates.  We have attended several hair shows this year.  I have continued to speak and now you are an even bigger part of my story.  I share your legacy with every audience.  

We know that you are with us.  You give us signs.  We hear Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing or we see a red cardinal fly by.  We know that you are always near its just so difficult not to have the option to reach out and touch you or feel your hug to let us know that it will be alright.  

I feel overwhelmed at times.  It’s tough not having my partner to share things with and share the day to day responsibilities with including raising our son.  But I have learned to take it 1 day at a time.  I don’t borrow trouble and I do the best I can and ask for help when I need it.  

Seth and I talk about how much we don’t miss watching you suffer through everything that you did in the last months of your life.  We don’t miss the hospital stays, we don’t miss your dialysis appointments, we don’t miss watching you fight with everything you had,  just to stay with us.  We are grateful that you are out of pain and that you never have to visit another emergency room.   

I know that you don’t understand but you were so special to so many people.  The words that people use when they describe you is awe-inspiring.   You have left quite the mark.  I know you didn’t think you were that special but you most certainly were.   People have adopted your “Every day’s a Good Day” motto.  It makes me smile knowing what that saying meant to you. 

I miss you more than words can say.  Everything that Seth and I do, we do to honor you and the incredible life that you lived.  Thank you for loving us. Thank you for guiding us and giving us the strength to carry on without you.  We hope that we are making you proud.  

I love you so very much,
Your Forever Wife,
Kim